October 2, 2017
Last night a massacre in Las Vegas, 50 people dead so far. When I looked at tweets about it, my phone got hot. This is 2 years to the day after the Umatilla College massacre in Roseburg.
Woke up with a very sore neck on right side, semi-sore left ankle, but I am not having too much trouble writing.
Update: 9:15 a.m. neck getting worse, ankle better but left foot hurts. This is being done to me.
October 5, 2017
Yesterday I got a lot of ZAPS to my right brain and pain in the old fillings on the right side of my teeth, maybe related to what I was writing about my dad’s old publication in the early 1970s (Stomatopod). I think the Biology Department and the Running Clubs and the Mad River Press were funded by allowing me to be trafficked. I cannot think of any reasonable excuse for my mother to send me to Suzy Brusca’s birthday party in a dress with no underwear (preschool).
October 10, 2017
Stabs in left side (pricks, really) when I open this journal.
One day I had a weird prickly feeling on my left arm. And then a mosquito bit me in almost that exact spot. Tonight another mosquito attack/bite in about the same location on the left arm.
Today I have been zapped a lot on my right head/brain. Like, I went to Fed Ex / Kinko’s to make a scan of my photo of my Aunt Marge from 1971 in a blue raincoat and red gogo boots. I got zapped HARD walking into the store. I left my umbrella at the store and had to go back to get it and got zapped again.
A guy on the Max asked to borrow my phone to call his “grandpa.” I let him. He took it and coughed all over it.
I have a sore left back.
I dreamt last night I joined the military. This morning was buzzed by military jets.
October 11, 2017 6:13 a.m.
Picked up this journal to write song/lyric/literary ideas and was immediately treated to a wall-thump at 6:10 a.m. and a ZAP to the right side of my head. So even though it wasn’t my intent to write more “true confessions of an American torture victim,” my mind immediately goes back there. The devices all over my body – any one of them could be activated at any time to cause debilitating pain. And the nature of the situation is that the “screws” are tightened gradually. I know the devices are there – I have some idea what they can do – I just don’t know who is controlling them, or how far they intend to go. In fact, the threat of instant, severe torture or even death is just there so you go about living an almost-normal seeming life – because what else can you do?
As far as mind reading – there was an interesting moment yesterday riding the bus and I was thinking about these zaps to the right side of my head. I was thinking of them as “Nazi zaps” and really thinking about this when I felt a very sudden and strong sharp pain in my right heel. Then a series of zaps: right heel -> left thigh -> a tug in right eye
I first detected pain zaps in the right side of my head around 2008. It seemed to be linked to my back pain attacks, so I thought it was referred pain of some sort. Now it’s different though. Now it’s discernibly electrical zaps. A couple months ago I noticed tiny, slightly irritated bumps all over my scalp, mostly on the right side. I know they were probably sliver-sized implants. It really is astounding how they get these in with so little noticeable evidence left behind in terms of scars, irritation. I feel that these are connected to each other in some type of circuit.(?) Maybe that is how they zap me? Or maybe it’s simpler than that. It sure would be nice to know. Part of the terror of being a nonconsensual experiment and/or torture victim is not knowing what they have planned for you. Or who “they” even are.
The devices they place in your body are like a net or a leash and spiked collar. And you wear it at all times. It does start to make you feel like a possession or an animal. And I think that is very much part of the intent.
Also yesterday, in addition to head zaps and the normal stuff (pokes/pricks, etc) and back pain on the left side, I had gut-implants activated a lot. I seem to have implants on the left and right side, in my intestines. So far they have not been used for pain, but they do get activated pretty frequently. They seem to cause gas bubbles. Maybe they are in there to monitor what I’m eating and drinking?
One of the first implants I felt was in my right gut. When it showed up, there were also “references” to suggest it in street art, in a car commercial, and in a poster advertising some kind of beer festival in town, with text something like “explore your digestive system.”
It is very hard to wrap my mind around the idea that these things are witnessed silently by large swaths of the population. The best explanation I have is that it is a massive social engineering and mind-control project. Someone powerful asked himself “how far can we go in controlling citizens? Will they do x, y, z?” And they keep pushing the lever further and further. This is of course speculation, but I have a feeling there is truth in it. At what point will the average citizen say “this has gone too far”? To me it appears that the “average citizen” has almost no stopping point, as long as they are rewarded for their silence, punished for seeking justice, and told it is all a harmless joke. The general population seems terrifyingly easy to control with lies, promises, plausible deniability.
More shocks to the brain just now. It is getting worse and worse. It is 7:08 p.m. October 11, 2017.
Zaps to the head today, the main torture. Zaps to the right side of the head. They seem to be mostly between the top of my ear and brow. And right above all the “NASA” fillings in my upper right teeth. (Dr. DiGotarti, the dentist who put these fillings in said that the resin material he was using had been invented by NASA. This was probably about 1986. He was a friend of my parents, a Marine I was told, who later died by suicide.) I have the sense it is some type of circuit. It is definitely a shock. It is very painful. My mind blanks from the pain. But it is also brief. But as usual I wonder about the long-term effects.
I also got sharp pains in my left breast, side of left breast, presumably from another implant.
Then we have been buzzed by aircraft several times. A helicopter, drones, etc. But lately, if I grab my phone camera, inevitably, the camera doesn’t work. Sometimes the camera won’t activate at all. They play “chicken” like that – buzz me while disrupting my ability to photograph them.
October 12, 2017
So far this morning: no planes buzzing apartment, no shocks to brain. Just the ususal wall thumps and poke/pricks on thigh, ankles, heels (“normal” since August – didn’t happen before August 2017).
But I decided to photograph and archive my (defamatory) records from OHSU. I had requested my complete medical record earlier this summer. I looked through my computer archives and realized I hadn’t photographed archived them yet in my folder called “dc.” So, these OHSU files are now missing. The pattern seems to be that medical files go missing from my apartment, stay missing for several weeks, then show up again, disheveled and out of order, in some random location. So anyway, my medical records are missing from OHSU, so I intend to request another set. My medical records are a never-ending project because there is so much deception and falsification going on, and it is done is such a sophisticated way. But it helps to have a few doctors who are at least TRYING to be as legit as possible under the circumstances.
October 13, 2017
Other things: My eyes are red in the mornings: signs of night time attacks. Sore neck for three days now. I think it is from attacks. I get zapped to sleep too. Kept falling asleep in the morning until almost noon. Lots of planes buzzing the apartment today. Slight zaps in right temple today, but only slight. They seem to be “mind reading.” I think about something like my feelings about being sexually assaulted with directed energy weapons and I get a poke in the left thigh. Stuff like that.
Just got a massive zap in the right side of my head. Just now. Now a poke in the left thigh. I guess they are reading my mind. Poke in the right arm now. Nazis.
One last thing – just a few hours ago my right foot started to hurt as if I had twisted it. For no reason.
October 14, 2017
Open the journal, head shocks begin. Woke up with sore neck, sore throat. (More head shocks just now. ) Sore right foot off and on, sometimes ankle. Crown on right side of mouth uncomfortable, achey. I hate it.
Geiger counter alarm went off just after 9:00 a.m. (Set to go off after 100 CPM to 50 uSV). I didn’t get to it in time to get a reading. Trying to figure it out this a.m., accidentally turned it off and on. (There is a dosimeter and software to download data for this device but it keeps getting hacked.)
The sore neck, sore throat, sore right foot are I believe 100% beam weapon created. In the shower I felt a weird sharp pain on top of right hand and left foot. No visible injuries.
Neck still hurts a lot. Right foot pain similar to back pain preceding spasms – sharp, charley horse pain in foot. I guess it shows me the same kind of pain can be produced in different parts of the body. Lots of jets, helicopters buzzing me over past three days – loud – sound like military jets but “invisible” – either out of sight or camouflaged.
When I get this German bug detector going (Aceco 6002 MK II), I expect to find implants in my crown (top left tooth), my fillings, maybe (top right teeth), right scalp, both knees, ankles, neck, top of head, navel, gut. The crown is the one I hate the most and also the gut/digestive system. I think the gut implants are used to make me feel ill.
Also side of breast, especially left side. Scalp is mostly right side. Eyes & ears also implanted.
October 15, 2017
Sick today with cold. Runny nose. Neck still very sore. Used Aceco 6002 MK II bug detector on my body. Got signals from: top of head, right hand, both knees, both thighs, left ankle, both feet, mouth/teeth, crotch, and 2-3 spots around navel. Faint signal on both sides of gut (mostly left). Front of chest near throat. Back of neck where it hurts. The signals come and go. Sometimes come in short bursts, sometimes very steady, but then not at all.
I’m not surprised but it still makes me grumpy/mad. MY NECK HURTS. They are doing this to me. It is battery.
Did a bug detection on camera in the park. Kept getting disrupted by outside radio frequency signals blasting my bug detector but the process was ultimately successful. (note: video on YouTube) Ferocious signals off my head in the end. My neck hurts now, writing in this book. In addition to the regular aches and twinges I had a very strong pull/ache in the left side of my vaginal area. I am implanted in that area. I feel like it may have been done during a pap smear (or during surgery). (Note: I had what I thought was a botched repair job after giving birth in 1995. I now have reason to believe it was a deliberate vaginal mutilation. I had it repaired at Kaiser in the early 2000’s.)
I am so far beyond angry at everything that has been done to me. To my daughter. My medical treatment badly compromised. My career destroyed. My sex life destroyed. My relationship with my daughter damaged. Decades taken away from me. And they see nothing wrong with it. Telling me “don’t be angry” because they don’t want to feel bad about their part in it.
It is not normal to have all these radio frequencies in your body. (Light in kitchen is making a “clicking” sound.)
October 17, 2017
Mostly stayed in bed today because I am sick. Threw up last night ater writing about my increasing realizations that my severe back pain is created by beam weapons and implants. This realization has been helped by doctors, or maybe assistants leaving clues when I am forced to visit the E.R. – and the intent was to torture me and to see if I would become an opiate addict. After writing about that on the computer I suddenly threw up. This is very unusual for me, even when I’m sick. But it’s happend a few times since 2013. I think it is done with weapons and maybe the implants in my gut.
Today I felt a couple very slight shocks and the normal stuff. Vibrations in right leg, twitching of left lip. Watching Vietnam war show and when narrator says Johnson won’t stop fighting a war he can’t win, my left thigh is poked. etc.
October 18, 2017
Slight jolts to right temple at 9:40 a.m. then while walking to the bus, lots of pulling sensation on right ear. Yesterday was some pulling on left ear. People smoke with left hand today, coughing as they walk by me. New spots on face near nose and mouth.
Nasty shocks to right side of head starting about 6:30 off and on for past half hour. Anger at that. It messes up my head and it HURTS. Shocking sensation to front tooth about 4:30 p.m. Seems to be around the front crown I have had since the early 1990s. I can’t tell if it has a radio frequency device or if the metal is simply being used as part of a circuit or maybe being hit by a microwave weapon which is reflecting off the metal, causing pain.
I woke up with no neck pain, but red eyes all day, every day, indicate that weapons are being used on me at night.
Just watching T.V. tonight there is tons of sexual content, innuendos, references to porn.
I went to OHSU Richmond Family Clinic and to Providence to request medical records. Requesting medical records seems to be interpreted as a type of aggressive act. One of the techniques used to communicate this idea is to create a pricking sensation right on my anus to signify “asshole.”
My neck went stiff off and on through the day. I had to take aspirin.
October 19, 2017
This a.m. about five minutes after waking, still in bed, a poking feeling on my inside left thigh, crawling sensation on outside left thigh. I get up. Shocks to right temple, painful, around 7 a.m. I HATE the head shocks. They make me feel like I’ve been hit in the head. And I wake up with red eyes every day.
October 20, 2017
Series of head-shocks at 9:30 a.m. made me yell out. Always on the right side of the head. Called dentist to get information about lab where most recent crown was made. It was their lab: Willamette Dental, November 2014. It is a porcelain-fused high noble metal. I told them I detected radio frequencies coming from it. She said she’d have a supervisor call me. Probably won’t go well. (Note: I missed the call and didn’t bother to return it as I felt it would not be productive. However, after this phone call I began to have fewer problems with this crown and I stopped geting radio frequencies from it as well).
Neck and upper back keeps stiffening up involuntarily. My neck stiffening up now seems to be used as retaliation and control, same as the right temple shocks.
October 21, 2017
Took a late nap (or was zapped to sleep) for a couple hours, woke up with aching left back. More manufactured pain. Slight temple shocks. And the normal pokes and twitches.
October 22, 2017
Head zaps. Left thigh twitching just above inside/back of knee. Big helicopter landed on Providence hospital landing pad as I was walking home. Never saw that before this year. Past three months I’ve seen it about four times.
I am so made about the implants, especially the ones in my GUT. How can I ever get all this out of my body? (Just now, right gut implant sudden pain.)
Implant in right gut hurts and left side of neck hurting again. Eery day I wonder how, when, and if these torture devices will be removed from my body. I am worried about the health effects of them.
Another thing worth noting: about a month ago, I bought a recycled/recyclable toothbrush from Trader Joe’s. Before I could use it, it disappeared. Almost the exact time it disappeared, I was watching Techno Crime Fighters / Joint Investigation Team and Katherine Horton mentioned how “people will break into your apartment and steal your toothbrush.”
October 23, 2017 7:20 p.m.
Got in a huge ugly fight with Chris over the same thing, only thing we ever fight about: this stuff. He refuses to believe even empirical evidence. Refuses to do a frequency scan of his own body, too freaked out by it.
Later began to edit video from October 16 of me doing radio frequency detection on my body at Mt. Tabor. Lots of sky activity. “Invisible” drones flying over at dusk. You can hear them, but with lights off, you can’t see them. Lots of zaps to the head, legs, waist. Sore neck. Sore legs. Achey. This is from DEW attacks. I slept a lot today and so did Chris. At 3:20 the big helicopter landed at Providence hospital again, second day in a row. It’s tail is almost diamond shaped. It is a loud, heavy helicopter.
October 24, 2017
Woke this morning with very stiff left neck and lots of itching in private parts. Though I don’t write or speak about it much, it seems like there is more and more manipulation/attack of private intimate areas. The effort to completely debase and dehumanize as well as starve, humiliate, and torture – seems to be infinite.
I get shocked in the head every day. The implants in my gut are used in, I think, different ways, including the infliction of pain. I often feel things that in the past I would associated with hormonal changes – “mittelschmertz” type pain – hot flashes, achey legs (a PMS symptom I had always thought), but now I know it is not hormonal. It is implants and beam weapons.
Last night I went to sleep – I had achey legs, sore neck (been sore for a solid two weeks now) but last night there was nothing wrong with my private parts. But as soon as I woke up this morning my butt felt itchy and painful. I took a shower and cleaned myself – found a hair, a long hair like from my head, shoved up in there 1/2 way. I don’t know how it got there. That area has hurt and itched all day. I saw some street art, too, that said something like “Hello, asshole.” A brand new sticker on a sign. Street art often metaphorically references things that happen to me. I have also felt what appear to be implants activated in my vagina (left side) and clitoris. This is rape. To me, this is rape.
October 25, 2017
Neck very sore today. Lots of “stabbing” in my gut, lots of pricks and pokes all over my body, especially legs and thighs. Pain in left knee right now. Basically constant low-level torture. Did a radio frequency scan of my body, found signals (always) from right knee, all over right leg, in both sides of my back EXACTLY where back pain typically starts, all over right side of head and behind both ears.
My neck is spasming, stiff, painful. The situation is getting really extreme. I am astounded this is happening to me, that this is being PERMITTED to happen to me. I need protection. I need support from someone not connected to this crime. I need medical assistance from someone not invested in protecting the crime and criminals. I need protection. The attacks to my gut fee; increasingly like sharp shocks, similar to the attacks on my right temple.
I do not consent.
October 27, 2017
It is now 1:30 a.m. My neck hurts tremendously. It was SO BAD yesterday, especially in the morning. It is getting worse now. When I write in my journal, the pain increases. When I discuss the situation with Chris, it worsens. It is so bad now I can barely write. It gets worse when I edit my footage showing bug detector picking up implants or when I write in my evidence folder. The torture is increasing in general. It hurt SO BAD yesterday. I need someone to help stop this, identify perps, bring them to justice.
Trying to sleep and pricks all over my body keeping me awake.
October 28, 2017 11:30 a.m.
I am currently doing a bug sweep with the Aceco 6002 MKII. Getting confirmation of prior detected frequency-emitting areas in bathroom, finding new areas in bathroom. Getting brutally attacked in back of neck while writing this. Outside of the bathroom I get strong signals in my kitchen at the level of my head everywhere. Higher or lower, not so much. It’s like a beam of radio frequencies at head level.
Getting lots of frequency readings on the right side of my mouth, especially in back. Getting lots of readings all around the base of my neck. Getting readings off my hips, and in the crease between my thigh and torso. Always seem to get readings at various locations on my legs – not all at once – intermittent, and at different locations. I use readings from my knees to calibrate the bug detector.
I do think the implants can be turned off/off up/down remotely. But there so far always seems to be at least one I can find.
Lots in my thighs. thighs, waist, back, neck, teeth.
The spots (swollen areas) above my eyes both fired off very rhythmic beeps, then stopped. Left nostril, too. Fewer signals off my scalp today. Today it’s all about my neck. My left crown bothers me but I don’t get a reading off it right now. I wonder how many of these devices are using very low frequencies. Bug detector won’t pick up below 1 MHz. Pet I.D. chips are lower frequencies, ELFs are very low frequencies.
I went out to go to the market and all the star drones were twinkling not with a single star-like light but with a double light. It seems like all the drones were doing this, but it was more visible with the bright ones. Like tiny sets of eyes.
Red eyes. Neck still being attacked off and on. It’s been a solid two weeks of my neck being stiffened and attacked. It is exhausting dealing with all of this pain and brain strain.
October 29, 2017
I woke up at 4 a.m. extremely il. Very red eyes. Intense intestinal distress. I knew it had been created by manipulation of abdominal implants and/or attacks on my brain. I considered going to the E.R. but decided not to. I took a long shower and began to recover in the shower. I believe that is when the attacks stopped. After I was out of the shower I began to feel better. I put on some warm clothes and I was better after an hour or so – not sure. I fell asleep. I actually have no memory after putting on my clothes. But one thing – I was SO upset knowing I’d been made sick on purpose. I was so upset by this, I felt like the would maybe lock me up again on a psych hold. Like, if I tried to get help. I felt like I need to really get my story out BEFORE the next crisis. It’s too hard to express yourself in a state of crisis.
I believe that someone saw how sick and upset I was and stopped the attack, maybe even zapped my memory. Today I have had much less neck pain also. And look at my penmanship. i can write legibly. My hands don’t hurt or cramp.
October 30, 2017
I am really angry about being used as a medical lab rat. To me, a big part of the offense is the message it sends to the world at large – because this offense is committed in the open – that it is ok to exploit a person like this.
This morning I woke up with a new sore spot in each ear. A small bump, slightly painful like a pimple. On the left side it is outer ear canal, in back. On right, inside tragus. Both locations impossible to see in mirror or photograph. Left side much more discernable than right. Sore, throbbing implant on left side scalp about 2-3 inches behind and 1 inch above back of left ear. Neck not an issue today.
October 31, 2017
The spot on my left ear seemed to be “activated” a few times yesterday. So I do think it is an implant. Probably a new one. My theory is that they wait until a certain point in the sleep cycle – which they monitor constantly – then zap my brain into a temporary state of unconsciousness. Chris too.
Last night before going to bed I decided to scan my teeth again. Signals come off my teeth intermittently. The right side of my mout is much more active than the left. It seems to be the white resin fillings that give off the strongest signals, but my front teeth seem to give off signals as well. The left front has a repair that was redone in the past 20 years, and there is that crown (eye tooth). Interestingly the most recent crown isn’t reading a signal since I complained to Willamette Dental. But I know I’ve felt activation pain there in the past. Maybe it was turned off.
I was looking up information about tooth implants online and found out that supposedly there was (is?) a covert program for mind control / brain wave manipulation called “Operation Moonstruck” which involved implanting both teeth and brains. On one of the very few web pages I could find about this there were many familiar-seeming comments, several, as usual, from veterans.
In the late 1980s I was going to a family friend connected to Six Rivers Running Club, Dr. Berg. I was paying for my own visits. Dr. Berg found my teeth to be healthy. Then my mother offered to take me to see another Six Rivers Running Club connected dentist, Marine vet Dr. DiGotarti, saying she would pay for my dental work. Dr DiGotarti found many, many, many cavities in my mouth that Dr. Berg seemed to have missed. He used this white resin filling which I now see emits radio frequencies, and which can be activated to cause discomfort. It doesn’t emit frequencies all the time, but I don’t know if any of the implants do. I remember this material cost “a little more” than amalgam fillings, but my mom was happy to pay. I remember being a bit concerned about this new material being in my mouth (new materials have less testing time to discover potential long-term effects).
There was a Kurt Cobain fax to Courtney Love published in some biographies, reading “You pull wisdom from my teeth.”
Many years later my mom told me Dr. DiGotarti had committed suicide. I believe it was in the 1990s, and I believe he used a gun. It makes me sad to think about this.
I remember Dr. DiGotarti as a highly technical man who seemed to have difficulty speaking in a way that one could easily understand. As if human connections were difficult for him.
Right side of my throat painful tonight. Looking in mirror, it is irritated and inflamed and I can see what appears to be a wire-like shape arching over my throat where it hurts. (Note: I believe there are at least two wire implants in my throat, one on each side of the “arch.”)
Ist this new? I have felt “new” implants last three days in a row: anus, ear, throat. That’s in addition to everywhere else.
I used the bug detector and get very high signals inside near my throat, back teeth, and on neck outside of throat.